Dysfunction Junction

Our only goal for Saturday was to get out of the house.  Rick was wanting to leave early, but I stalled around and did pretty much nothing so that we ended up with a late start (after 12 sometime). We didn’t exactly have a plan. We just knew we were headed towards Pittsburgh with one destination being Mineo’s pizza (BEST pizza in Town!). I have been all happy with my latest purse (pictures coming one of these days), but an offhand comment from someone made me think maybe I should look for something else (they asked if it was luggage or my purse – hahaha…bitch). I suggested we do the thrift store thing while we were out (thinking that maybe thrift stores closer to the city would have nicer items). I had a list of names and addresses of a few in my purse (shut-up) so we tried a couple places out. The first one was in Swissvale and I found absolutely nothing. They have an a little designer section, but there was nothing that interested me. They also had a woman that invaded my personal space while I was looking at belts and another woman across the rack that was in desperate need of an inhaler (people, mouth breathing is so unseemly) so we pretty much fled the scene.

We got in the wrong lane and ended driving up to Mount Washington. Mount Washington overlooks the city of Pittsburgh and it’s fabulous…if you’re not afraid of heights.

An older photo of Lars (I miss the knucklehead), Rick and another German dude (I can’t remember his name) standing on the platform that overlooks the city. You will never see a picture of me standing on that ledge (I didn’t take this one either). I don’t go near that look-out platform because, “OH.HELL.NO!”

I snapped a picture from underneath the platform yesterday and was appalled by what I thought were cracks in the cement. Turns out that it was just tree branches. Hee!

I also caught this building. I have no idea what it is, but part of me is secretly wishing that it is someone’s house because that would be fabulous. I need a life.

We found the other thrift store and I was kinda put off by the sales staff of all people. They were loud and trashy (as am I, but they were not loud and trashy in the good way). I found a couple of tops and a black velvet pair of Dansko clogs in my size. I only bought the tops because seriously, I didn’t need the clogs and I’m trying to be good about buying crap. And also, where the hell would I wear black velvet Dansko clogs?

I was starving and since we were on the south side we decided to try Fat Head’s Saloon. We had been talking about eating there forever, but never managed to get there. Today was going to be the day! Except not, because apparently there was some kind of Leprechaun lap there. It basically boiled down to a shit-ton of drunk people hitting all the bars in the south side. After realizing it was going to be an hour wait for a seat and my low tolerance for people in general, we bolted and headed over to Mineo’s (our original plan). And I realized that I am much too old to tolerate young men spitting on sidewalks. That shit is gross and rude.

After dinner we went up to Little’s and I scored a pair of shiny red shoes (currently on sale online for $83) for the low, low price of $29. I was looking for Doc Martens. Don’t ask. I can tell you that Avalon’s in Squirrel Hill had THREE pair of brand-new looking Doc Martens – all of which did not fit and I was sad. Hence, the purchase of the red shoes. Which made me happy and I will not think of the fact that Rick found a pair of brand new Doc Martens for $40. Bastard!

We spent the rest of the evening dwaddling around at The Waterworks Mall where I saw the manager throw out two young women with their toddlers because they were attempting to shoplift (the women, not the toddlers). I am not a big fan of public displays so you can imagine how uncomfortable I was when the one young woman decided to mouth about how she has $1,000 on her credit card (hee!) and then declared she was getting her lawyer involved. The F word was flying too. “Hello, white trash, you don’t have a lawyer. VERY FEW people really have a lawyer on retainer so just shut the fuck up already!” The women left before the police came.

Sunday was spent just lazing around. Rick did the Sam’s Club run for me and I had 20 whole minutes to myself before my mother and Trey came back from their little mini shopping trip. It was a beautiful 20 minutes that I wasted by going on Facebook and announcing that I was totally alone in the house and how happy I was.

My life sucks sometimes.

I ended up doing laundry and organizing my closet. I put away the Super winter clothes, left out the “it might snow” clothes, and started going through my spring/summer clothing. I’m pretty much stuck in a weird situation with clothing. I dress for the weather and it’s starting to become a problem at my office. This year the heat was jacked up and I found that my dressing for the weather was resulting in my sweating. I Hate to sweat. Seriously. Anybody with light, linus-type (tm Shelleyness) hair will never be happy when they sweat. And I automatically feel dirty if I feel any type of wetness in my body. Thank Christ, I don’t sweat heavily as some people do. But still. Yeah, I’m particular. Blech.

I’m outta here.

I went back to work on Monday expecting a horrifying day.  Coming back to a medical office after a week off could be a real bitch.  Lots of things to accomplish quickly and lots of patients that need to be seen…NOW.

Imagine my surprise when it wasn’t bad at all.

Things ran smoothly (for the most part) and I went home not hating my life and having NO headache.  I didn’t even have to take aspirin while I was there!  I’m starting to think that the constant headache problem may have been a side effect from my previous medications.  A smart thing to have done was maybe wait and try the new meds out over the weekend before work (in case of reactions), but I like to live dangerously and started them on Monday.  I was surprised at how good I felt and how easy it was to accomplish the things that I had to get done.

It’s that time of year where everyone starts losing their shit over insurance and their deductibles.  I am amazed at how many people automatically get on the phone ready to fight.  Maybe it’s this specific area or maybe it’s everywhere, but I absolutely hate when people lose their shit before they even know what they’re talking about.  Someone called yesterday flipping out because they got an overdue notice for when their kid was at the office and he knows that his wife paid on that day because he has the credit card receipt to prove it.  Turns out that she did indeed pay her copay, but the bill that he has been receiving is for his deductible. I’ve reached the point where I’m getting fed up with basic human ignorance.  Nah, I need to word that different.  There is nothing wrong with not being knowledgeable about something (especially insurance) – just don’t be rude and find out the answers before you start losing your shit.

A co-worker got slammed by a couple and I had to leave the area because it was making me so upset.  This couple was hell-bent on being argumentative and not wanting to pay the copay (let alone the deductible balance)  and I have never in my life seen such a spectacle.  To my co-workers credit she held her own quite well, being as polite as she could be and explaining over and over again – but this couple was treating my co-worker like she was a incompetent thief.  Arguing over top of each other and just acting ridiculous.  Even arguing on the dates of the visit when the medical treatment records are right there.  20 minutes of blahblahblah, loud talking, snarky, pissy comments (not from my co-worker) and major discomfort to everyone in the office and they finally left.  I HOPE they never come back.  Seriously.

We ended up seeing 48 patients and I was exhausted when I got home.  I stopped at Walmart to pick up some groceries and yapped with the family for a little bit (I also picked up the Zombieland DVD for Trey).  Rick brought me some kind of technical doo-hickey that allows me to press a button and switch from my PC to Mac (magic box!).  He tried to explain how it works to me, but my brain wasn’t accepting anything and it doesn’t matter anyway because he needs some kind of extended cord (he’s getting it today).  All I know is that I’ll be able to do my thing by pressing a button and that  makes me HAPPY.

Now I have to go get a shower and get on the whole CYBER SCHOOL schedule horseshit that is Trey’s life.

I’m outta here.

Google potato peels and garbage disposals and you will see that it’s not recommended.  Apparently (and don’t quote me because I have to admit that I skimmed the hell out of the entire topic) they act like glue (starch?) and clog up the garbage disposal.  I have always had a container of some sort with a baggie in it beside the sink to put all my gunky food shit in it.  Last year I got all fancypants and replaced it with a canister from Fiestaware.  I vaguely remember when we were growing up that my mother used a coffee can (we are klassy with a K, man).  No, we did not compost.  Or maybe we did.  I can’t remember.  I know we had a huge garden when I was growing up, but I seriously cannot remember if we did the whole throw food onto a pile in order for it to rot and become fertilizer thing.  I do know that we used manure at times.  I think.  Holy crap!  I’m losing my childhood memories!  About the only thing I do throw down my disposal is cereal and shit.  In my world, garbage disposals are a big waste of time and money.

Oh!  I was reading archives of an old-school journaler and there was an actual debate because he used to scrape his plate of uneaten food in the toilet and made it go away with one flush (a throwback from living in New York and roaches).  I was all, “That is ingenious!” but according to his comment section most people were appalled by the entire situation.  I guess I’m not the delicate flower that I want to be because seriously, if the choice were cockroaches or flushing my leftovers, I wouldn’t think twice about it.  Bon Voyage, blue plate special!

Speaking of childhood memories.  A patient, who is a distant relative, came in to the office on Monday and handed me an plastic bag full of pictures.  The last thing I want to see are pictures from my youth.  GOOD GOD, I was an awful looking mess that didn’t even come close to the word cute.  It was very sweet of him to bring them in for me and I thanked him, but I would appreciate it if I never, ever saw pictures like that again.  Whew.  I was a DOG (not to be confused with DAWG) and thank Christ that make-up and hair products were invented! I might scan those pictures some day and post them.  Then again, I might not.  It will mostly depend on my sensitive self-esteem.

And yes, Rick is surely going to leave me because I am an ungrateful bitch who does not appreciate his gifts.  In all fairness, he didn’t really have a chance to go souvenir shopping, but I still stand by the fact that it was a bitter disappointment that instead of cute new earrings I am stuck with a horrid little box.  And yes, I did immediately turn that bitch over and look for a Made in China sticker.  I also looked at him in confusion and said, “You got me a stash box?”  Hee!  I won’t even mention the Day of the Dead miniature woman that he bought because I am sick to death of clutter in my house and made it a New Year’s resolution to not buy anything that has to sit somewhere and collect dust.  The dumb bitch is on my kitchen window sill right now.  Sigh.  I’m going to use her as a Christmas tree ornament because her arms broke off and she will go perfect with our one legged witch that sits as the Angel atop our tree.

Just be thankful you don’t live in my house.  And yes, I completely understand why people think I’m weird.  I’m also okay with being weird because I find that most people that are considered normal are boring.  I can’t abide by boring because….zzzzzzzzzzzz.  Yeah.

So yesterday I wrote all about how I was going to work all day on the whole Quicken/Budget thing.  Well, I didn’t do it.  I ignored it until Rick came home from work and then I forced myself to get on it and figure out the entire mess with a little help from Rick.  The only thing I seriously managed to get done was the reconciling of my checkbook.  Did I ever mention how badly I bombed accounting when I was in high school?  Oh, yeah.  You know the phrase GO BIG or GO HOME?  Baby, when I say bombed I mean catastrophic.  I hated that class with a white hot passion because of the rules.  So many freaking boring rules and blahblahblah COLUMNS.  Blech.  After being involved with various men (slut!whore!) and always combining funds I finally got my own checking account when Trey was a little over a month old.  He’s going to be 16 years old next month.  So for over 15 years I have had my own checking account and NEVER, EVER bounced a check.  I also NEVER, EVER reconciled a bank statement because hello, BORING.  In order to do the Quicken thing with online banking right I had to make sure everything was reconciled and I spent the evening doing that and let me tell you, it was not fun.  Rick was appalled that I had over $300 more in there than what my checkbook said.  I was not surprised.  Since I DO NOT reconcile my statements I always tried to err on the side of NOT BOUNCING which means that I knew damn well I had more money in there than what my check register said.  It’s called CUSHIONING in case of ERROR.  Sheesh.  Why can’t Mr. MBA understand that?  He’s all particular and WHATEVS, over 15 years and NOT ONE BOUNCED CHECK!

It was a long night, but I am reconciled down to the penny.

I took a screen shot to show you where I was as of last night. Now mind you, it is not complete and you have to remember that this is NOT our combined household money, just MINE. I have more things to enter and I’m sure the pie chart is going to change (obviously I cropped the monetary amounts out because there are some things I am not willing to share online). Please note how fucked up it is that my credit card slice is almost as big as my AUTO. And that the HOUSEHOLD one is only that big because I bought a vacuumn cleaner (Oreck) and a few other things that I didn’t really need and it will be much smaller next month.

I have GOT TO STOP WITH THE SHOPPING. Seeing it like this really jolted me into reality. I had no idea that a major portion of my income is going to paying credit card bills. RIDICULOUS. One thing I am glad of is that our DINING OUT went down to almost nothing. Today is all about setting up a realistic budget and making sure that it sticks. Those mofo credit cards are getting paid off and done with because I HATE THEM and I guess I’m going to have to live with the fact that if I don’t have cash for something, I’m not getting it. At 45 years old I think it’s time that I just grow the hell up already.

I’m outta here.