Dysfunction Junction

This is me after a really long day of work (edited here: I had to remove the work bitching so I don’t get fired).  By the way, I took the photo from this angle for two reasons (hide the double chin and hide the major roots). I don’t even wanna talk about the limp hair or shiny face, okay?

Do I look like I want to bake a cake? Trey does not eat cake (neither of my kids do, the freaks). But a couple of years ago he was at a friend’s house and the friend had a HoHo cake made for his birthday. Well. I never heard the end of this stupid cake because Trey LOVES crap food. The cheaper the better in his world. He would much rather have a Twinkie over a real cake any day. Twinkies, HoHo’s, etc., He loves them all. Blech. So, of course, he wanted a HoHo cake for his 16th birthday.

Bastard.

Normally I would tell him to go fuck himself, but he’s a good kid and you only turn 16 once so I figure I would give it a shot. I surfed around and it seemed pretty easy and I decided to whip one out. Except when I went to make it at 6:30 at night I realized that I had no chocolate cake mixes in the cupboard. So I decided to really investigate the situation and find a complete homemade HoHo cake. No such a beast.

I found 3 separate recipes. One was for the cake part of it (no links because I didn’t save them – hell, I didn’t even print them – I just propped the MacBook up on the microwave and went to town). It involved a lot of eggs and a very little bit of flour.

Looks kinda rough, huh? I didn’t even bother to follow a recipe for the “filling”. I used Crisco, butter, sugar, vanilla, salt and a cooked cornstarch/milk paste mixture. Then I beat the hell out of it. It tasted pretty fucking good for someone who decided to wing it.

I rolled that bitch up and snapped a picture while holding it because I was in a hurry and was also in the middle of ironing clothes (I am woman, hear me roar!).

So then I made some half-assed chocolate glaze and took a picture of it before it “hardened” like a real HoHo. It was at this point that I realized the half X@nax that I took to help me sleep was kicking in and I had a helluva mess to clean up before I fell into bed.

Voila! A homemade HoHo cake that tastes way more better than the real thing and made a 16 year old happy.

I’m all that and not such a bad mom after all.

I’m outta here.

Yesterday we headed out to get a room divider from someone that was selling it on Craigslist.  We have a ridiculously large living room and I couldn’t stand the fact that our desks/computers were in public view along with our normal living room furniture.  Especially when at any given time one of our desks is a huge mess (I’m looking at you, Rick).  We’re neatly in the corner now, hidden by a hand-carved room divider (pictures later) and I’m all happy.  I know I need a life and just be thankful that you’re not as particular as I am because your head would probably explode in a million pieces…on a daily basis.  And yes, I do prefer to call it being particular instead of mentally ill.  Hee!

I had tweeted about having to be in both Latrobe and Shadyside on the same day (opposite sides of the earth as far as I’m concerned), but it turned out to not be the case.  The reason for Shadyside would have been The Apple store because Rick told me about a little adapter that would make my MacBook act like an iMac.  Basically I’m using my big monitor with my MacBook and eventually freaking Windows is going to go away totally.  It’s a quick fix solution because a) Quicken has yet to pull magic money out of my budget for me to purchase a real iMac and b) I still kinda need Windows because there is stuff on that computer that I can’t do on a Mac. Blahblahblah, we ended up being able to buy the adapter that I needed in Greensburg so it’s all good.

And nobody cares about this shit but me.  Moving on!

Rick dropped me off at the thrift store before he went to Best Buy (I loathe Best Buy).  I was all up in that store finding things and was greatly amused when the girl at the cash register commented on the fact that it was obvious that I’m not from the area.  Fact:  I live about 30 miles from Greensburg – I have all of my life.  Rick was amused because he normally gets the “foreigner” comments when he opens his mouth.  He’s from Southeast Missouri so there’s definitely an accent.  She didn’t direct the comment at him.  I have no idea what made her make the remark and I looked at Rick after we walked out and said, “Whatever it is, I’m doing it right!”  I’m thrilled to death that I am not considered a local in this area because it means that I’m just being myself.

Meanwhile we stopped over at the Mall because I wanted to check out the clearance sales (some clearance sales are actually cheaper than thrift stores).  Yeah, I know that I had said I wasn’t buying anything new for the new year, but I’m definitely going to be making exceptions once in a while (get real, I’m only human…and female).  Imagine my surprise that JC Penney was having a ginormous clearance – $1.97 each on all clearance clothing.  SCORE!  We spent $40 on shirts, sweaters and hoodies and ended up saving over $500.

And then it just got ugly from there…

Rick’s all excited because he was able to get an action shot of what I look like when I’m shopping for the perfect purse. Fucker. I’m in TJ Maxx or Marshalls.  And yes, I found one that I like.  It’s orange with a purple interior and it protects my camera perfectly because it’s a laptop type purse.  I can’t explain it, but it works for me and I’m all happy (for now).

Dear Starbucks in Greensburg,
You need to wash your mirrors.
Sincerely,
-nance

I was finally able to use the coffee sleeve again (reader Kari made it and I have yet to find any others that are as nice – score!) because I asked the Barista how to get hot coffee. In the past 6 months or so my drinks have been lukewarm every time I got one so I hadn’t needed it. All I have to do now is say, “One tall mocha latte, extra hot” and yay! I wonder if they turned down their temperature due to some kind of lawsuit?

And now I really need to step away from the computer and get some work done so I’m outta here.

Felina Marie (aka: Fifi) hopes y’all are staying warm like she is (courtesy of my electric throw).  She obviously has a rough life.

Ok I am guessing you buy your fiestaware at the outlet in WV. Do they sell the broken pieces or did you just break them up like that. I love your table how hard was it? I am wondering if it would work on a wall or floor?

I got this email a while back and it annoyed me enough that not only did I not reply to it, but I felt the need to keep it so I could write about it here. I have no idea who it is from because the sender didn’t even have the decency to introduce themselves OR sign their name. The whole tone of the email showing a lack of basic manners just really set me off. And they expect a reply. Yeah, that’s gonna happen.

I’m outta here.